you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and she was petting her beer can
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The adults are the big ones right?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
