roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have aggressive nipples.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize