then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize