I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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