Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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