well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
