im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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