I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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