Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
