My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
