Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
