capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
