You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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