You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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