There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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