1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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