So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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