1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
