We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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