Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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