did you get engaged???
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
