hotel room ftw
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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