my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
