If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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