Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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