i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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