I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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