weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
