If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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