It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
