names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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