my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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