If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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