i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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