Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
