What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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