so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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