you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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