So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
