My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
