So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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