okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
