i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize