I want to stick my p in your. b.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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