I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
