chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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