He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
