I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
