No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fill condoms, not promises.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
