doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Are my feet made of real feet?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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