wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
