did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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