i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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