Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
