Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
