can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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