the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am available for nakedness
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
