if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
