cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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