ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
