I wish you could order shots online.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
