xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
