you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
