thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
