How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
