somebody snuck up and got me drunk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
