i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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