im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
